2013: Year of Refinement

2013 just reeks of trial. Swarmed left, right, and centre. That's old news, I knew what I was getting into since the start. But I've not been truly facing them. In my prayers I have mostly been asking for certain things to be 'taken away' instead of praying for wisdom/strength to overcome them. I guess it's a cue that God will definitely not take them away until I've learnt this lesson. It just shows how much change is needed to my attitude, and I should expect even greater trials sent my way.

Solitude

I am one of the most blessed people on earth to have such great friends/family around. Not many have fostered close friendships since childhood, or being in countless situations where opportunities for forging such friendships abound. I was also brought up to care for the people around me. With the distance, it seems normal to feel homesick sometimes or loneliness due to a very community oriented upbringing. But, as I've recently share with dearest faithnoodles, this environment seemed to have influenced me to base my happiness on the presence and welfare of other people. I’m sure it isn't really a bad thing. But joy and happiness should be derived from God alone. I recently dealt with a breakup (still dealing with it), and this has caused me to rethink my position on quite a few things.

Among them is whether one truly ‘needs’ a partner. Compared to my web of logical explanation, Elaine said the same thing rather concisely: your other half complements you; but they do not complete you. I firmly believe that ideally we do not need anyone by our side. I am complete as I am in God. He already made me a standalone complete package; why should I ‘need’ someone? I may need God desperately, but that’s about all I should need. So, until one truly grasps that, one is not ready for a relationship. What I want this year is to find peace in solitude. The origin of naming this blog actually reflects that. To enter God’s sanctuary, you find a quiet place and whisper.  

Resolutions

Building from there, and the chapter by chapter posts, I actually do have some resolutions. Quite late but it’s okay. You spend more time sharpening your axe than hacking at the tree.

I will find the strength of solitude.

I will take a course of action rather than mull over the decision/decision making too long. I tend to plan and strategize a lot, but in 2013 I will take a swifter course of action rather than strategize the microns of a situation (which can never really be controlled anyway).

I will stop treating errands as burdens. They are necessary, rote tasks that allow interval time. They are a great way to expand my attention and extricate myself for a while.  

I will negate the delay in between actions. It’s not enough to take action, but to cut down on the time in between actions. In badminton, you don’t just time you shots and your footwork correctly, but you move immediately after you take a shot/decide it's not yours to take (doubles). This doesn't mean there won’t be recreational breathing space. With more efficient action taking it could well mean a ton more buffer time.

A day in 2013 has 86400 seconds.