People clapped, stood up, and cheered. They were half hearted. It was number 2 in the state . It was number 2, year 7. We always had the dominance, the consistency and the individual flair. The dominance, the consistency, the individual flair never once clinched the championship. A glitch, disarray that we can't put our finger on- or be politically correct about- puts out our flagship teams in the finals.
Seniors have ranted about this. When will we bring it home? One day we shall bring it home. I had hoped along with them.
Foundation was through. I didn't make it to the top 8 breaking list. Powerhouse A team made it to the 2nd and didn't even make it past the semis. The first time in history that a team wasn't in the grand finals. They had hoped.
Come the third year and I'll be ready, I told them. I had made an estimate that we were fully bloomed by our third year.
1st year was through and a team clinched...2nd. Back to our old streak. 2nds, the firsts of the losers.
There was no tournament in the 2nd year. It was a quiet year. Not much outside tournaments. Everyone dispirited. We lay low.
This year is my third year. And I did not want to join. I wanted to focus on my studies. But somehow I did. Can't remember.
Sailesh is my partner. We thought: let's win it all. Lose none.
We won the 1st round. We never won a round after that. 2nd (I have to say there were issues with this one) 2nd 3rd... we had to do well in the last round.
Of all the rounds, the last round had our opponents (OG and CG) come up with a template case. A textbook case. We struggled to find holes and angles of attack on the compact mechanism while desperately trying to revive remnants of ours. They were funny, we were boring, and CO did nothing to help the sinking.
As we waited in the hall we knew we needed 9 points to have a chance to even break. We had only 8 points. It all hung onto the last round. The chief adjudicator decided to speak.
"The breaking teams."
We looked at each other. Sailesh told me, that if we didn't break it was okay, as that was the best we could do. We would be knocked out fair and square.
"1. Swinburne A (Rafie and WC) on 14 points."
Swinburne A were the true contenders of the day. They had won all rounds except where they were in ours. We ruined that round for them or they would have certainly been on 15 (perfect streak)..
"2. UNIMAS D on 13 "
"3. Swinburne C (Ashik and Brendan) on 10 "
The fairytale team of ours. With presumably no chemistry. Breaking third.
"4. Swinburne B (Paul and Sailesh) on 10 "
We looked at each other very quickly. Seems we had squeezed out a 2nd in the last round.
"5. UiTM C on 9"
" 6.Swinburne D (Raj and Daniel) on 9"
Freshies in the break?
"7. Swinburne Swing B(Sophia and Douglas) on 9 "
All teams in the break. I was satisfied. Too bad swing teams can't proceed to the knockout rounds.
"8. UNIMAS A on 8 "
-----
"9. UiTM D on 8"
The 9th team to replace the swing team.
Semifinals. UiTM C and D Opening Goverment and Closing Government. Swinburne A and B Opening Opposition and Closing Opposition.
We were supposed to support ... race-based parties? Swinburne A and B in a round? Nasty.
The semifinals, was a mess. Maybe more than that, but nothing less. We were blown away by torrents of specialized knowledged about the governmental policies and manifestos of even the minute component parties of Sarawak. Lucky us, Sailesh is a foreigner. I was a local and I knew ... well I didn't know.
We debated purely on value-principle, desperately trying to be 'the voice of reason' in that debate.
"And so in Semifinal round 1 the Closing Opposition takes the debate. "
Sailesh and I looked at each other, breathless.
The Closing Government also advances.
From Semifinal room 2, fairytale team advances. UNIMAS A advances.
Upset for A team. They are disappointed. Controversial split decision 3-2.
"You better win this." Rafie said.
In the finals, That Developed Nations Should Pay Developing Nations to Preserve Their Natural Forests. Swinburne C drew Opening Government. Swinburne B is Closing Government. It is Swinburne all out on everyone else. Not good politics.
I knew that the fairytale ended for Swinburne C as soon as Ashik started off his first speech. UNIMAS attacked. Brendan tried to patch up but it was all too late. Now, Sailesh and I had but one task, to tell the house with extreme conviction that what Ashik had said was the gospel truth and nothing else.
And even as we stepped down from the podium we were certain but yet uncertain.
"Good chance! Good chance!" Wee Chung hollered from some distance away.
"Good one. No holes." Rafie gave the thumbs up.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the 3rd runner up for this year's state championship."
I held my breath, but if our strategy held then...
"UiTM"
"The 2nd runner up for this year's state championship, is"
"Swinburne-"
"-C."
I still could not breath. Neither me or Sailesh could look at each other.
It is tradition that the champions are announced after the 2nd runner up as the hailing of first runner ups would not bring cheers from the first runner ups themselves but the unmentioned team, and therefore it was indeed a bit odd if they were mentioned first.
It was eternity then and I looked elsewhere.
----
That eternity has long passed and now I must complete this post. It great looking back, all those pseudo-hysterical screams when Swinburne B were crowned state champions. Hopefully our juniors would win it again this year. Anyway, herein ends a chapter of my life and it is time to began a new one. All glory be to God.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Walking in a dream
You crossed the bridge
For I razed the fort
There it lies shredded on your path
You're walking
Walking in a dream
You were in a dream and I did not see
From afar I did not know
Far across the bridge I could not see
One in a dream
Two can't happen
You had crossed
The fort
Standing that I may sleep
It lies shredded on your path
And there you saw me in your wake, among the shreds, walking in a dream
One in a dream
Two can't happen
For I razed the fort
There it lies shredded on your path
You're walking
Walking in a dream
You were in a dream and I did not see
From afar I did not know
Far across the bridge I could not see
One in a dream
Two can't happen
You had crossed
The fort
Standing that I may sleep
It lies shredded on your path
And there you saw me in your wake, among the shreds, walking in a dream
One in a dream
Two can't happen
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
A poem written back in high school
To Abigail
I'm from..
I'm from sheathed swords, shattered spears and the slight breeze felt by the swath of scythes, not of battles lost and won, pyrrhic victories and hasty retreats, but the unheard army that trudges secretly, silently, dark horses as cavalry, lithe shadows as hoplites and very little known. I'm from the great salient, crushing forth, being crushed and rising again.
I'm from the echo of waterfalls, ambience of mists, fogs insidious with treachery, of fallen leaves- answering a traveller's shallow hoof, an uttered susurrus through the forests, casting winds high and low.
I'm from those gathered unseen, rustling unheard, of camaraderie never forgotten, living or dying, of loyalty thicker than blood and of spirit warriors past and present.
From advocates of chivalry and arbitrators of unheeded woe.
From possessors of kukri blades never banished.
From iron rods withheld.
I'm from vehemence soon to come; a torment. Tremors of sound without sight, moving through darkness as light, vaguely known, forces of upper echelons that fight the blight.
I'm from what was and still is fought for, cousins and friends and brothers and sisters of whispered prayers that alter the mighty currents.
I'm from..
I'm from sheathed swords, shattered spears and the slight breeze felt by the swath of scythes, not of battles lost and won, pyrrhic victories and hasty retreats, but the unheard army that trudges secretly, silently, dark horses as cavalry, lithe shadows as hoplites and very little known. I'm from the great salient, crushing forth, being crushed and rising again.
I'm from the echo of waterfalls, ambience of mists, fogs insidious with treachery, of fallen leaves- answering a traveller's shallow hoof, an uttered susurrus through the forests, casting winds high and low.
I'm from those gathered unseen, rustling unheard, of camaraderie never forgotten, living or dying, of loyalty thicker than blood and of spirit warriors past and present.
From advocates of chivalry and arbitrators of unheeded woe.
From possessors of kukri blades never banished.
From iron rods withheld.
I'm from vehemence soon to come; a torment. Tremors of sound without sight, moving through darkness as light, vaguely known, forces of upper echelons that fight the blight.
I'm from what was and still is fought for, cousins and friends and brothers and sisters of whispered prayers that alter the mighty currents.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Conversation of the gods
It is impossible to close your earlids because you have none. Hence you get bored of certain types of conversation occasionally. Such as the one below:
Girl: They don't...they will never understand me.
Girlfriend: Don't bother about them, hun. I understand youuu.
Girl (crestfallen, but trying to hide it awkwardly): Uh... aww... I know. You... always do.
At this instant, 1 is added to the gargantuan tally of the number of mourners fretting about how the world does not understand them.
This need to be understood not just by anyone, but everyone, is an increasingly common trend. Like in fashion, cultural fashion. The demanded right to be given very unique attention not just by someone who loves you but also every Tom, Dick and Harry out there. And, most of the time it isn't devoid of reason nor is it surprising. We often yearn to be understood by a family member, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a filial acquaintance. Even God wants to be understood a little more by his worshipers (though there hasn't been much success). Why? Because they have a direct emotional link, and in such relationships one would expect emotional support.
Other times you cringed - the victim blames the whole world, or whole groups of people for 'not understanding'. Blame can optionally be placed on the entire male or female species if you happen to find that it's not the whole world. This angst-y first cousin of the global phenomenon is what I want to type about. It seems to be different from the rest, it seems to be devoid of reason.
But I think it is not totally devoid of causal reason. That girl earlier may not have been given the same opportunities as everyone around her. Or she may not have been granted the degree of attention she wants. Many want the world to give them attention, and they strive to do so by inventing funny things like light bulbs or brooms. If attention is what she craves, I think she is irresponsible - she wants attention - just like that. For nothing! Go invent something first!
I noticed that these folks were depressed (although most not clinically). They look up at the accursed world very angrily, as it is the world's fault for not understanding them. The world will never understand. But let's throw it back and see what comes out of the equation: do they consider understanding others around them with the same urgency, especially the ones they vehemently accuse? For if they did, only then will it be one way care, only then will there be an issue of injustice and naturally a cause for justification. That would have shed much light on the matter of reason.
Even more puzzling is the fact that most actually do not want to be understood. They challenge others to try to get to know them, but the closer someone gets and makes clear all perceptions, the more vehemently they will deny even those that are obvious; the more aggressively they will try to tear down what others perceive and in some cases resort to tear down those responded kindly to their self-pitying act. They demand to be understood. And once pried open, like children they throw tantrums, demanding to be a mystery for fear of losing the gratification of being one. They are afraid to be happy.
It may be a component of self-worship, which we practice to a certain degree. Some think it's wrong, most think it's right. This post is not about that. It's about how many are of the opinion that others will be most delighted in understanding their whims and fancies. Nevertheless, self-worship is where it starts (well, almost all problems and angst start with self-worship). There most definitely exists something intrinsic in us that wants to devote to something, someone; that also wants to make itself god. And I believe that, eventually it must take a stand. People followed and served Jesus, Humanity, Hitler. People followed glory and blood. When 'social order' evolved to be more established it was harder to take a stand on the absolute ends. And all the while, we were the same intrinsically. We are scorned when devoting too much to God, and we would probably be laughed at if we asked random strangers on the road to worship us as gods today. But that crave still exists. All that energy has to be released in some form, right? Remember, energy cannot be created nor destroyed (oh well, I personally think that's false but let's leave that up to advance physics classes and mini-black holes. We'll stick to convention this time).
So I thought to myself: this girl seems to be releasing energy.
Girl: They don't...they will never understand me.
Girlfriend: Don't bother about them, hun. I understand youuu.
Girl (crestfallen, but trying to hide it awkwardly): Uh... aww... I know. You... always do.
At this instant, 1 is added to the gargantuan tally of the number of mourners fretting about how the world does not understand them.
This need to be understood not just by anyone, but everyone, is an increasingly common trend. Like in fashion, cultural fashion. The demanded right to be given very unique attention not just by someone who loves you but also every Tom, Dick and Harry out there. And, most of the time it isn't devoid of reason nor is it surprising. We often yearn to be understood by a family member, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a filial acquaintance. Even God wants to be understood a little more by his worshipers (though there hasn't been much success). Why? Because they have a direct emotional link, and in such relationships one would expect emotional support.
Other times you cringed - the victim blames the whole world, or whole groups of people for 'not understanding'. Blame can optionally be placed on the entire male or female species if you happen to find that it's not the whole world. This angst-y first cousin of the global phenomenon is what I want to type about. It seems to be different from the rest, it seems to be devoid of reason.
But I think it is not totally devoid of causal reason. That girl earlier may not have been given the same opportunities as everyone around her. Or she may not have been granted the degree of attention she wants. Many want the world to give them attention, and they strive to do so by inventing funny things like light bulbs or brooms. If attention is what she craves, I think she is irresponsible - she wants attention - just like that. For nothing! Go invent something first!
I noticed that these folks were depressed (although most not clinically). They look up at the accursed world very angrily, as it is the world's fault for not understanding them. The world will never understand. But let's throw it back and see what comes out of the equation: do they consider understanding others around them with the same urgency, especially the ones they vehemently accuse? For if they did, only then will it be one way care, only then will there be an issue of injustice and naturally a cause for justification. That would have shed much light on the matter of reason.
Even more puzzling is the fact that most actually do not want to be understood. They challenge others to try to get to know them, but the closer someone gets and makes clear all perceptions, the more vehemently they will deny even those that are obvious; the more aggressively they will try to tear down what others perceive and in some cases resort to tear down those responded kindly to their self-pitying act. They demand to be understood. And once pried open, like children they throw tantrums, demanding to be a mystery for fear of losing the gratification of being one. They are afraid to be happy.
It may be a component of self-worship, which we practice to a certain degree. Some think it's wrong, most think it's right. This post is not about that. It's about how many are of the opinion that others will be most delighted in understanding their whims and fancies. Nevertheless, self-worship is where it starts (well, almost all problems and angst start with self-worship). There most definitely exists something intrinsic in us that wants to devote to something, someone; that also wants to make itself god. And I believe that, eventually it must take a stand. People followed and served Jesus, Humanity, Hitler. People followed glory and blood. When 'social order' evolved to be more established it was harder to take a stand on the absolute ends. And all the while, we were the same intrinsically. We are scorned when devoting too much to God, and we would probably be laughed at if we asked random strangers on the road to worship us as gods today. But that crave still exists. All that energy has to be released in some form, right? Remember, energy cannot be created nor destroyed (oh well, I personally think that's false but let's leave that up to advance physics classes and mini-black holes. We'll stick to convention this time).
So I thought to myself: this girl seems to be releasing energy.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The reality of zookeeping within Malaysia
After a few test posts, here it is - a newly clad personal dimension - where I can learn to put my thoughts into words. And subject them to polish (how long have I not written something that's not my lab report?)
It is undoubtedly going to be a very abrasive and abusive process. The images in my head are hard to express. They are also hard to argue. Perhaps I'll just slip in one or two when I feel like it (for now I'm monkeying around, as the image above sorta implies). This blog will be have exactly that; a 'feel-like-it'...policy. I shall be free from the taxing need to make sense and I shall not attempt to avoid logical fallacies - this is not a parliament and I are not a parliament monkey. Besides, in thinking, 'erring' on the side of caution makes you logical and dumb and you can't create nuclear bombs with that sort of mentality.
Darn, I are already trying to justify myself. nevermind, summing up, let's just say with that attitude your heart is not opened up to God.
Finally, a big thank you to Ced a.k.a. Eli James for designing this blog... I know it took years!
Whisper for Sanctuary means prayer.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Cardinal Sin
So, the world as I see it has been undergoing waves of change, and I try to be peaceful amidst the graceless eruption. I fail more often now.. and today I felt no peace. When you feel the need to be on guard, you feel no peace.
It is disappointing when trust is breached, I'm sure of that now. It is always tempting to ask why you stood by them, why you made those sacrifices. But that would mean one is complaining. Apparently I was taken for a fool, and maybe I am. I've committed trust, the cardinal sin. Does not the bible say (hah, tiba-tiba jak), 'do not put up your hands in pledge toward men'? It seems that I have been... disobedient. Please arrest me, God. My cousin would probably be telling God that she didn't know what was happening but she will have faith. That is a much better way to go then to whine and complain.
Nicety of the day (for every bad thing, there is a good thing that ought to be appreciated more):
oui...
muz b ok ok o.....
dun tink too much o......
n study hard hard o......
This was a random message from a friend before I went to sleep. Random, but really comforting. The os even rhyme.
Isn't it..funny?
It is disappointing when trust is breached, I'm sure of that now. It is always tempting to ask why you stood by them, why you made those sacrifices. But that would mean one is complaining. Apparently I was taken for a fool, and maybe I am. I've committed trust, the cardinal sin. Does not the bible say (hah, tiba-tiba jak), 'do not put up your hands in pledge toward men'? It seems that I have been... disobedient. Please arrest me, God. My cousin would probably be telling God that she didn't know what was happening but she will have faith. That is a much better way to go then to whine and complain.
Nicety of the day (for every bad thing, there is a good thing that ought to be appreciated more):
oui...
muz b ok ok o.....
dun tink too much o......
n study hard hard o......
This was a random message from a friend before I went to sleep. Random, but really comforting. The os even rhyme.
Isn't it..funny?
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