I do not frequently update a blog, because I have not explored thoroughly its concept. Carelessly speaking, it is merely an online diary, if not a more public one. Dangerously, I have to ask myself why I'm fine with such little concern for privacy. A diary is supposed to be a very private, personal space. Why would I want anything other than that? But I say that this personal space is fairly private. It is known by just a few souls, who don't really blog anymore: and even if they did, these few I could trust. I may also comfort myself in declaring that I have nothing to hide; or admit that I just do not possess the stupidity necessary to post something out of bounds. Although now, part of me is disappointed. I am not about to take back anything, but you cannot know for sure sometimes. I may be willing to temporarily knock 50 points off my IQ scale just for the excitement of it.
Now, I'm on holiday. I've just finished my exams. My exam only had one subject. So it's called a winter semester. I'm still traumatized as to why they called it that. That was brilliant. 8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and ARRGGGGH I just don't know how to end that sentence! Alternatively I could have just used '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and this sentence' without ending up in a freak vortex.
Now, I am reflecting about what life has been to me.
Main Highlights (Like in football)
1. FYP
I have been through the first phase of the much feared FYP; something that every engineering student has to go through. I have thrived when I thought failure to be more imminent. That is a positive sign and is something to keep up.
2. Intel comes knocking
This came as a surprise when I was pressured by both the university and my friends at Intel to take up the offer. Believe me, I tried.Who won't? It's the equivalent of Google/Microsoft hunting you. There was a hurdle, one I could not clear. In the context of this offer, I had to take a 1 year academic break and go for training. This clashed with the policies of my patron scholarship body. I tried to coax them to let me go. I tried. Therefore, I am not too disappointed.
3. Debate ceases
This was one of the tougher decisions, and had perhaps, strained some relationships. I ceased all participation in debate tournaments.
Future Stakes and Steps
1. Investment
Engineers are going to be poor people. A starter 3k per month is not enough for you to survive. For some it goes down to 1.8k. Safe investing will be a good complement. Putting it in the bank will not save its time value, so might as well do something useful.
--------
There has not been a lot of action into this. However, I plan to join an investment game next month. To do so I shall read up on index investing.
2. FYP finale
People most fear this. In our project, we have quite a few things to figure out as well. But I will not give in to mindless fear. It makes me dread the project. I'm positive I can find a way out: there always is. I promise that the process of creating solutions won't be filled with dread. It will be about working intelligently around the clock, with fully rested time-outs if need be. Persistence with minimal wear and tear. It all starts next week after a camp coming up in two days; where I will rest fully and ready myself.
------
Moving too slowly.
3. Tough professor
He will be teaching Photonics and Fibreoptics. He thinks very highly of himself because he hails from Oxford and holds many credentials. You are not allowed to ask questions. You will be scolded and promptly told that everything is in the textbook and the lectures. Do not question or it may result in a shouting match. I shall deal with him tactfully; without losing a shred of confidence.
-------
Not so tough after all...
4. Internship
For it to commence early next year, I must apply for it at least in October. I will apply starting next week also. First on the list is naturally Intel. It is a good stepping stone for further things and I won't mind the company being where I land my first job.
-------
Intel is not looking like an option. At least not a certain one like the last time. I'm keeping other options open. I just need a job for three months.
5. Quiet time and alone time
This is the worst failure for now, but it is the most important thing I must have... checks and balances are underway.
----
This is failing flat on it's face.
6. Be worthy. This is a new objective. I must manage my temperament and and my cynicism carefully. There are wonderful people around me who bear no ill intentions but I do have the frequent outburst. Yesterday, Charmaine gave me a note on how one should pray with a thankful heart. I think this brings a lot of meaning to how one's attitude should be in pretty much every approach. If I'm thankful all the time, I wouldn't hesitate to help anyone in need, neither would I cynically shoot down a well-meaning conversation. Neither would I waste my time. Neither would I procrastinate. I would sleep well, eat well, do well. This is far reaching.
I will never be fully worthy of course. But one must start somewhere.
7. Follow up. This is another new and important objective, and my ultimate weakness. I seldom follow up till the end. Braces. Piano. Chores. Books. This is a weakness that has to be overcome little by little, day by day.
A litany to live by
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain
Philosophy to live by
I think that it's possible to be so successful, that success chases after you. It's not the law of attraction. It's about being of insanely high value as perceived by whoever you want to be perceived by. Therefore you do not chase 'success'. It doesn't work that way. If you want to be someone, you do not gradually work towards becoming. You become, then set out to work. Mahatma Gandhi was always Mahatma Gandhi before bringing independence to India. Einstein was always Einstein, and well, Hitler was always Hitler. Mia san mia.
The name of the game next round is to strive to compete, not to survive.
Now, I'm on holiday. I've just finished my exams. My exam only had one subject. So it's called a winter semester. I'm still traumatized as to why they called it that. That was brilliant. 8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and ARRGGGGH I just don't know how to end that sentence! Alternatively I could have just used '8 sentences without commas or anything including 'that was brilliant' and this sentence' without ending up in a freak vortex.
Now, I am reflecting about what life has been to me.
Main Highlights (Like in football)
1. FYP
I have been through the first phase of the much feared FYP; something that every engineering student has to go through. I have thrived when I thought failure to be more imminent. That is a positive sign and is something to keep up.
2. Intel comes knocking
This came as a surprise when I was pressured by both the university and my friends at Intel to take up the offer. Believe me, I tried.Who won't? It's the equivalent of Google/Microsoft hunting you. There was a hurdle, one I could not clear. In the context of this offer, I had to take a 1 year academic break and go for training. This clashed with the policies of my patron scholarship body. I tried to coax them to let me go. I tried. Therefore, I am not too disappointed.
3. Debate ceases
This was one of the tougher decisions, and had perhaps, strained some relationships. I ceased all participation in debate tournaments.
Future Stakes and Steps
1. Investment
Engineers are going to be poor people. A starter 3k per month is not enough for you to survive. For some it goes down to 1.8k. Safe investing will be a good complement. Putting it in the bank will not save its time value, so might as well do something useful.
--------
There has not been a lot of action into this. However, I plan to join an investment game next month. To do so I shall read up on index investing.
2. FYP finale
People most fear this. In our project, we have quite a few things to figure out as well. But I will not give in to mindless fear. It makes me dread the project. I'm positive I can find a way out: there always is. I promise that the process of creating solutions won't be filled with dread. It will be about working intelligently around the clock, with fully rested time-outs if need be. Persistence with minimal wear and tear. It all starts next week after a camp coming up in two days; where I will rest fully and ready myself.
------
Moving too slowly.
3. Tough professor
He will be teaching Photonics and Fibreoptics. He thinks very highly of himself because he hails from Oxford and holds many credentials. You are not allowed to ask questions. You will be scolded and promptly told that everything is in the textbook and the lectures. Do not question or it may result in a shouting match. I shall deal with him tactfully; without losing a shred of confidence.
-------
Not so tough after all...
4. Internship
For it to commence early next year, I must apply for it at least in October. I will apply starting next week also. First on the list is naturally Intel. It is a good stepping stone for further things and I won't mind the company being where I land my first job.
-------
Intel is not looking like an option. At least not a certain one like the last time. I'm keeping other options open. I just need a job for three months.
5. Quiet time and alone time
This is the worst failure for now, but it is the most important thing I must have... checks and balances are underway.
----
This is failing flat on it's face.
6. Be worthy. This is a new objective. I must manage my temperament and and my cynicism carefully. There are wonderful people around me who bear no ill intentions but I do have the frequent outburst. Yesterday, Charmaine gave me a note on how one should pray with a thankful heart. I think this brings a lot of meaning to how one's attitude should be in pretty much every approach. If I'm thankful all the time, I wouldn't hesitate to help anyone in need, neither would I cynically shoot down a well-meaning conversation. Neither would I waste my time. Neither would I procrastinate. I would sleep well, eat well, do well. This is far reaching.
I will never be fully worthy of course. But one must start somewhere.
7. Follow up. This is another new and important objective, and my ultimate weakness. I seldom follow up till the end. Braces. Piano. Chores. Books. This is a weakness that has to be overcome little by little, day by day.
A litany to live by
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain
Philosophy to live by
I think that it's possible to be so successful, that success chases after you. It's not the law of attraction. It's about being of insanely high value as perceived by whoever you want to be perceived by. Therefore you do not chase 'success'. It doesn't work that way. If you want to be someone, you do not gradually work towards becoming. You become, then set out to work. Mahatma Gandhi was always Mahatma Gandhi before bringing independence to India. Einstein was always Einstein, and well, Hitler was always Hitler. Mia san mia.
The name of the game next round is to strive to compete, not to survive.
