Report:
For the first time, and such a crucial time, academic performance stank. Results proved shocking as credits littered my result slip, but were not about to be short-lived. The second semester plunged them into a yet deeper, more profound, mess. The shocker in the first semester should have inspired and motivated me to avoid repeating the failure, but why didn't it?
It may be irresponsible to blame certain factors other than oneself. But that also means applying a hard and fast rule to every circumstance, and hard and fast rules are dangerous. Some have caused inventions to not be invented. At certain times, actually every time, external factors do come into play in the equation of life; do you dare deny that? So, I am going to blame those other factors and also myself.
Because it is irresponsible to blame just oneself. Ok, well - there was a myriad of tournaments in the first semester that required going on holiday in the midst of exams and thus skipping lots of classes. Most notably the back-to-back national tournaments. In the second semester there was what SDC looked toward with a single minded focus, wanting to redeem the state championship. There were also slips such as forgetting when a midterm exam was till it was half and hour away. That was unhealthy for my soul at the time.
Blame is a tricky thing. There is always something or someone else to blame because that something or someone else really ought to be blamed. You can’t just blame you, objectively, because sometimes it’s not just you. But you must blame you to a certain extend. I am about to blame me to a certain extend. Why was I demotivated and extraordinarily relaxed this semester? I think it was because what I was learning was tough, but it was tough by layers. The first layer of tough is easily seen and waded through. But there is a second layer of tough that can only be peeled open by constant hard focus/ramming one’s head on it. It is the awareness and the mastery of this second layer that gets the High Ds. This second layer is elusive like the mixed voice. It requires a prolonged concentration of effort, time, and thought. The second layer is in all problems. I had only discovered the first layer and since it was the only layer apparent, I thought that I could deal with it soon enough only to discover a whole virgin jungle of second layers the night before the exam.
Enough of difficulty layers. It was also about going the extra mile(s). Grades are operated by a mean. My mates and others have been mastering the second layer of difficulty as well as going thousands of extra miles (over doing minute assignments, often making them look like part of a thesis). If I simply did what was required of me, would I be even considered to be among the norm?
It is now clear cut as to why year 3 was an utter failure.
Future. Mastering the second layer and going extra miles are going to be the fundamental direction of the future. This year there is also new found admiration for the likes of football players and teams. Messi for his flair. But flair comes after everything. Only then it counts.
Fundamental train of thought was supposed to be: expand -> examine on a large scale -> differentiate on a large scale -> examine on a small scale -> differentiate on a small scale.
That is down to the details. The target on the bigger picture in the future would be: master second layer master -> pump extra miles -> flair
This is a layered strategy. Above those two layers there should be a fundamental principle one rests upon. I think that successful people also have spirit, that of a winner's. As how the team of Sailesh and I operated in the state championship when all was thought to be lost, and how we held the composure of that operation when all was won. Probably the one barcelona had when defeating real madrid. Or in utopia, how Brute Force/ Rage of Absalom operated.
There is another observation in looking at the best against the brilliant. Most of the time what separates them is not talent, or skill (they are of course, pre-requisites). At that level, those attributes are more or less very even. What separates them at that level is philosophy, focus on each challenge (Brute Force), flair and brilliance (Barca) to perceive and take advantage of even a nook of a chance, retaining solid composure under the barrage of what happens around them, and deriving skillful maneuvers in/from an awkward position.
